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In the upper classes, these semi-arranged love marriages increasingly occur between young people who are from castes of slightly different rank but who are educationally or professionally equal.
If there are vast differences to overcome, such as is the case with love marriages between Hindus and Muslims or between Hindus of very different caste status, parents are usually much less agreeable, and serious family disruptions can result.* Explaining why he entered a marriage arranged by his mother, one Indian-born, American-educated Rajput man living in New York, told the New York Times, "I had mixed feelings with the concept.
Most couple have not even held hands before they are married. Under the kind of social structure that caste has given rise to in India, there are certain restrictions in the limits beyond which the parents, in the case of an arranged marriage, and a man and a woman, in the case of a love marriage, cannot go in choosing a spouse; he/she must invariably marry outside his or her own gotra. Nayar, Encyclopedia of Sexuality, \*/] On the expectations of Indian parents of their teenage children, Sailesh Muki posted Quora.com: “1) "Study hard now so you can enjoy life later" Later: "Work hard now so your children can enjoy life", And the cycle goes on... Because the "new trend" is people like educated girls.
To some extent pre-marital sex is tolerated among boys but is not allowed from girls. (Gotra is the name of the ancestral head or father of the family.) A decision to marry is usually marked by an “engagement” where the elders of both the parties announce their intention to conduct the marriage to their family and friends. \*/ [Source: Sailesh Muki, Quora.com, April 18 2013 \*/] After Hindu children reach puberty, the sexes are separated so there is little interaction between teenage girls and boys.
Marriages have traditionally been arranged by parents of the same caste in different villages between young people who have never met.
In the old days parents had more say over their children's future spouse than their children did.
You search for profiles through marriage bureaus or websites and you select a person based on your likes and interests, much like how dating works in other countries.Prospective mates generally have the power to accept or reject the choices made for them. Within this relationship, bride-givers are considered inferior to bride-takers and are forever expected to give gifts to the bride-takers.The one-way flow of gifts begins at engagement and continues for a generation or two.[Source: Library of Congress] A girl’s honor is held in high regard.Wolf whistles can result in a prison sentence for "outraging the modesty of a woman." In the 1990s six people were murdered after a boy reportedly made a lewd remark about a girl at a wedding.
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Once a couple decided that they wanted to get married they were not allowed to date or meet each other between the engagement and the wedding day.