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This has made it very difficult to comply with the Western-Judeo-Christian proscription.
Correspondingly, many movies have dealt with affairs, most notably, Long before our modern era, infidelity was a recurrent element in literature and art. The Ten Commandments devotes a specific commandment to it. Similarly, many anthropologists have repeatedly claimed that Homo sapiens throughout its evolution, like most animals, has not been naturally monogamous.
We tell men to keep their attraction to trans women secret, to limit it to the internet, frame it as a passing fetish or transaction.
In effect, we’re telling trans women that they are only deserving of secret interactions with men, further demeaning and stigmatizing trans women.
If a man dares to be seen with a trans woman, he will likely lose social capital so he must adamantly deny, vehemently demean, trash and/or exterminate the woman in question.RELATED VIDEO: MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry quotes this piece in her “Letter of Week” The comments and conversations surrounding hip-hop DJ Mister Cee’s sex scandal-turned-resignation has been appalling, and has led me to this essay, which isn’t about him soliciting sex from someone he perceived as a trans woman. If a young trans woman believes that the only way she can share intimate space with a man is through secret hookups, bootycalls or transaction, she will be led to engage in risky sexual behaviors that make her more vulnerable to criminalization, disease and violence; she will be led to coddle a man who takes out his frustrations about his sexuality on her with his fists; she will be led to question whether she’s worthy enough to protect herself with a condom when a man tells her he loves her; she will be led to believe that she is not worthy of being seen, that being seen heightens her risk of violence therefore she must hide who she is at all costs in order to survive.The Mister Cee “scandal” sheds light on society’s ignorance, similarly exhibited when Chris Brown, Chingy and Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson took photos with trans women; similarly exhibited when folks gender-policed Joseline Hernandez to the point where she Tweeted a nude photo to prove her cis-ness; similarly exhibited when Eddie Murphy, LL Cool J and a list of other powerful men were accused of being “caught” seeking trans women. When I was a girl finding myself, I was met with similar questions and believed I would never find someone to love me. The good news is that extramarital affairs are survivable and marriages can even grow stronger when members of the couple deal constructively with the affair by facing it, apologizing and ultimately forgiving or by simply accepting it. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Thomas Jefferson and French President Francois Mitterand (whose mistress stood beside his wife at his funeral) and other public figures, such as Prince Charles, Marion Barry, Gary Hart, Frank Gifford, poet James Dickey, writer John Cheever, Martin Luther King, television evangelist Jim Bakker and Representative Bob Livingston, Eleanor Roosevelt was strongly rumored to have had an affair with journalist Lorena Hickok and similar rumors surrounded Princess Diana extra marital affair. In fact, almost a third of all marriages may need to confront and deal with the aftermath of extramarital affairs and women's infidelity statistics are swiftly catching up to those of men. Even more bad news is that Internet or online affairs have become extremely prevalent and, some claim, pose one of the biggest threats to modern marriage.